Art & Activism 014 - @eniafe.isis

When I started thinking about who I’d like to interview for this series, I already had a few people in mind. I knew that I wanted to capture the stories of graphic artists, directors, florists - any type of artist that used their gift to free and empower themselves and the people around them. Wordsmiths are obviously no exception. Some of the greatest wordsmiths have sparked revolutions with how they string their thoughts together for everyone to hear and see. I’ve admired wordsmiths for as long as I’ve been able to read and speak. Figuring out that I am one of them has been a journey all on its own. So, two years ago, when I came across ALL HER WORDS…during a time in my life that I like to call calm chaos, I was blown away. I’d never seen the feelings of modern, complex, everyday Black women and women of color captured so beautifully and truthfully.

Eniafe is someone whose work I reverence so when she was open to speaking with me for the Art & Activism (Artivism) series, I knew her story would be the perfect ending to an extremely enlightening experience. Her work speaks for itself, but her story explains a little more detail why everything that she shares with us touches our hearts and sees us for who we are. Below, she shares with us what prompted the creator to dive deep in capturing all of the moments between dreaming and bringing that dream to life.

Name: Eniafe (EN-YAH-FAY) Isis ( @eniafe.isis )

Age: 35

Hometown: Born in Los Angeles, mother and sister too, but due to economic shifting in the ‘90’s, my mom had to make drastic changes and one of those was moving to where we owned a house. Our family has a house that was built out in Lake Elsinore so my mother made the choice to move us there permanently once my sister finished high school. It was quite different, shocking and difficult in many ways, but it's a part of my journey and story so I'm thankful for it regardless.

Race/Ethnicity/Any Identifications that Define/Describe You: Race is probably the last identifier I would use for myself. It’s also been the thing that I could never hide from. You see me, you see my name. You can assume what box I fit in. It’s interesting that it’s become a thing now. I’ve been challenged on it - why I don't blatantly state that I’m a black woman and I’ve sat with that and decided I don't feel it necessary to state the obvious. Ultimately, I can define myself so with that said - I am blessed, I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a blessing, I am a woman, I am a writer, etc. and so forth.

Occupation: Founder, writer and on my very best days I am a creator

When did you start creating your art and why? Art, as far as word weaving which is what writing really is - you’re weaving together words in a particular style and way that's unique to you, I’ve been doing for a long time. I started writing in my first journal when I was 13 and, though those words were for myself, the intention was the same - to release my emotions, write it down and make it real, write it down so that I could make sense of things that I couldn't understand or grasp. So, in that way, I’ve been writing for a long time - before I knew it was a talent or acknowledged it as a gift, but I do think that ALL HER WORDS really was the beginning of creating art in that way. I say that ALL HER WORDS is a work of heart, envisioned through women and that started in 2018, but by trade though, I have been an Event Producer for many years. That was the job career, so to speak, that I started after college, after undergrad.

When did you start your Instagram page and why? ALL HER WORDS just started as a holding space - a title for a particular stringing of thoughts, a particular way in which I started writing. Many of the words I wrote early on were in reference to a her and a she so it was a she this and her that, conversations between her and she. It started honestly as a hashtag, working on a totally different idea and realized that the ideation for that idea was really the ideation for her. So, it started on Instagram with these words that I was writing and hashtagging. I was slowly coming to the understanding that there was something bigger here and a convo with a former colleague who's still a good friend affirming for me that this was something bigger. And, so, I needed to look at it as a big idea which scared me at the time because that's not where I was going with it. It's not what I wanted for it, but then I said, “why not?” That's kind of when it got bigger. So, it's still not where I want it to be and the comfort zone is Instagram - that's where i've garnered a measurable audience, but everything is always in transition and growing. I’m still working on getting to the meat of things.

What topics or elements do you try to incorporate into your word-weaving? So, WORDS for her and writing under Eniafe Isis are different and intentionally different for me. For her, it is about always going home and going deeper and going back to self. And it is about identity, discovery, journey and the various journeys that we have - less as stories, but more as pieces. And, I always interchange “pieces” and “peaces” for her and there's a weight and depth internally that I really strive to stretch, get to and touch in what I write. It’s slightly uncomfortable, but not uncomfortable enough to make you turn away - just enough to hit a tender spot in a sweet way that makes you go in and unveil and unlayer. And then words for me, it's about everything: it’s about journey too but it’s personal. I talk about myself, all my internal grapplings, thoughts and growing pains. As far as what I write about and what I talk about for ALL HER WORDS, I do make sure that it is as inclusive as possible.

What does your process look like/involve when it comes to creating pieces? Most things come together in my head so I'm always working, I'm always listening to, always trying to pick up little inspirations. And there's always some type of weaving happening in my head and most often it isn't until it comes together to a certain extent that I'll put it down on paper or actually write it and post it. For ALL HER WORDS, much of what I write is in the moment because I'm constantly reading what the women in my communities are talking about and often the spirit is moving. For myself, again, it depends on what's going on around me and within me. Right now, I'm working on what will be my first book and so I'm being pushed to be more deliberate, specific and organized - so that is a cohesive-ish streaming of the words that tell more of an intentional story. My belief and challenge for people is to think about the story a bit differently because the story in reality is not finished until we are finished and even then our stories are sometimes not finished.

You look at what’s happening in the world and these lives being taken by police brutality: Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Elijah McClain. Their stories are not finished because of the nature in which their lives were taken. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X and a lot of individuals who are less known and less noted, but as we uncover them more, their stories are not yet complete in the broader sense. I think that we often think of the story as the beginning, the middle, the end, wrapped up, bow tied, period. And I have a thing that I say always and it's “and, but, also”. A story could, in a multitude of ways, have an ellipses and a “to be continued” or an “in process” or a “but” and sometimes it’s like that cliffhanger. As we are living, it's a journey - it's not necessarily a story. I believe it’s not linear and so, with the book, I'm kind of working out with myself how I speak to where I am in my journey right now and how I kind of convey all of my pieces.

The book title which I'm extremely excited about because it is all the things (and I won't share until the book is done) is you know when they say, “what would the title or chapter of your story or life be right now?” This is for sure my chapter 1 or maybe it's my chapter 5 - I don’t know, but it's the start of it.

What’re your feelings about the recent murders at the hands of the police? So many feelings - I mean it's personal and it has made me feel angry, anger, sorrow, tender, heavy and helpless. The thing was already done and we can't bring them back, but the hope is that we can, in the future, eventually keep it from happening. There are so many feelings which I think is part of the overwhelm.

What was life like for you growing up? As a broad subject, my mother provided sanctuary and she provided shelter because of all of the racism. She was working against the constant kind of attack on me as a little brown girl, but I was never allowed to really sit in any of that for too long. It hasn’t been until now, in my adulthood, going through therapy and kind of excavating all of these emotions that I stuffed down (because there was no time to deal with them) that I’m seeing a lot of the ways in which it was very hard and painful for me as a very young person to be treated in such ways that were not based on anything except for hate because of being a little brown girl. Ultimately...so, yes it was challenging but I’m greater for it...I was loved all the way through it. My mom was my warrior and so it did not take from me, it in many ways it has built me up.

Going off to college in New York, I finished my senior year of high school there and continued on to undergrad and post undergrad. That’s finally where I was able to live without all of those constraints and that was where people were actually interested in who I was - not from a race standpoint, but a heritage standpoint. That’s where I was able to celebrate and be proud about being Nigerian because in New York that's what people want to know about when they ask who you are and where you're from. They’re asking about your roots because they want to know those things and I was free of all the heaviness I felt when I was growing up. Were there still challenges? Yes, absolutely, but not in the same way.

I went to New York to explore and to be what I thought I was going to be: I’m a former ballerina.

I was going to be a dancer, that was going to be my life. I had the opportunity to train with the Dance Theatre of Harlem. That relationship between NY and I ran its course and my mom told me before I left that dancing would not be what I do, but it would take me where I needed to go to get to the next thing.

How do you hope to inspire change? I think it's just about understanding. It’s about many things, but understanding that there are always two sides of this story - it's the collective and the individual. And, individually, we have a lot to say in who we are, how we act, what we choose, the energy that we create, breed and manifest. We are whole on our own, but we are a piece of the collective. So, just in speaking of community, what we do matters, how we move, what we think, where we choose to put our time, money, and energy matters. And to understand that especially where we are now, that is essential to not only the revolution, but the evolutions and getting to where we say we want to get to. I think one thing right now is the thing that we’re talking about, but not really talking about is that revolution requires sacrifice. What are we really willing to sacrifice for the collective? Are we really willing because that will tell how successful this revolution is: what the collective is willing to do on an individual basis.

I just want people to think…I'm constantly trying to ask myself: is this what I think or is this what somebody else thought and now i think it too? Is this what I believe or is this what my mother believes and now I believe it too? Is this what I know to be true or is it what I've been told? Did I do the research? Did I seek? And for ALL HER WORDS, I think about the popular saying “the greatest teacher will send you back to yourself” because ultimately you are the teacher. So, in the scope of social media, we have these influencers...these notable voices. I say listen to yourself - you are the influence. No ones gonna be able to know your way, but you. Yes, someone else can inform your way - there’s always sources around, but it comes back to you.

Favorite Food: Mexican - and also Nigerian - if there were two things I could eat all the time, they would be tacos/enchiladas and jollof with a side of plantains - that would be life.

Favorite Genre of Music: I do have favorites, but when it comes to art like music or books it's super expansive. Everyday is different and depends on my mood so as of late I've been listening to a lot of Afro-Cuban and Fela which my father played for and so listening to Fela is very personal for me. I just need it to move me. If i had to absolutely choose, then it would be

‘90’s R&B, but there would be none of that without the classics so I just want to be moved.

Favorite Artist/Band: I love me some Anita Baker and Sade, Minnie Riperton, Nancy Wilson, I mean I am a woman so female musicians like Michelle Ndogeocello, Jill Scott, etc. Le Nubian - they are sisters, they’re French and it’s always interesting listening to music that I don't understand because somehow you still know if it's about love, heartbreak, sorrow - something about it - you know.

Favorite Artist: Miss Toni Morrison. She puts words to the thoughts that I'm still trying to understand and what I love most beyond her writing are her interviews. That's when I get the most gems from her: listening to her talk about her writing process, childhood, young adulthood, growing up. I was introduced to her doc “Pieces of Me” and I'm probably slightly obsessed with it because there's just so much meat there - she just left us with so much. And I also am a huge fan of Ruby Dee - she accepted a lifetime achievement award from Black Girls Rock years ago and she talked about her understanding of the word legend and broke down what that meant and what that means. She’s someone I read a lot about and kind of study up on as well.

Favorite Colors to use: For ALL HER WORDS, I based the color palette on skin tone and so, in that, they were deep rich brown with some vibrancy in them, but as I'm now starting to work on the visual narrative, logo and what not, long term direction, look and feel - they are becoming a bit more vibrant. My natural inclination is always to go towards moody, but for her there's a vibrant regalness about it. One thing I do love about Instagram is it allows me to play with and see things before I make a decision for a shoot or my website. You can see how I'm playing with colors in my feed - rich, vibrant and majestic. For me personally, I just like moody tones, I'm really falling in love with these deep greens that’re almost black, but not quite. I love wood, deep brown, mahogany wood. I do like black and white so those are me tonally.

Favorite Inner/Outer Feature: I immediately thought of my heart and also being inquisitive. I always want to get to the crust of the matter. I wanna know all the things about the thing. Outer feature - my eyes. Most people's faces are not symmetrical, mine specifically so, if you were to look at a straight-on picture of me and cover one side of my face, one side looks like my mother and one side looks like my father. My eyes are shaped completely differently and my hands - I have a thing for hands.

Favorite Item that you incorporate into your daily looks, special looks, going out, around the house: My books. So, actually...being that I am a writer, my thing is a thesaurus because I’m looking at a word and the feeling. Sometimes I'll have a word but it doesn't evoke the feeling I want - so, the thesaurus...in reference to books. Second to that are these two necklaces I wear all the time and I usually have some type of jewelry on my fingers, rings or something. In creating ALL HER WORDS, I have what I call my “fire wall”: there’s a collage on a wall in my place that led to the culmination of her.

A Piece Written by Eniafe Isis

i am not a woman who has, "found herself".

i am a woman still wandering.

a woman still uncovering and discovering

all the things that i understand

but have not yet grasped as a knowing.

a woman still learning her worth

and asserting it.

a woman still navigating self-love

and forgiveness.

a woman unraveling her own tenderness,

grieving through her own mournings

and working through the process of letting go.

a woman still divorcing fears and what does not serve her.

a woman still shedding outgrown skin.

a woman still learning how to choose herself.

i am not a woman becoming

but a woman coming undone.

Ashley Nash BaltazarAugust 24, 2020