Tina Turner, photo from the Twitterverse

Before I knew Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda Hobbes or Charlotte York-Goldenblatt…before I knew myself, I knew Tina Turner. “Know” might be a very strong word for my earliest memory of the singer-songwriter-fashion and empowerment icon. I was five or six, riding in the back of my parents’ cherry red, Nissan 240SX (before they painted it purple for one of my 20th birthdays). It was summer so the backseat felt like a sauna rocket ship especially with how my dad drove it. Tina Turner’s “Private Dancer” came onto the radio as my dad parked and climbed out of the car to run an errand at the bank. This was my time to shine.

I wiggled out of my seatbelt and proceeded to “gyrate” like Tina, providing entertainment for myself, the invisible audience around me and my disinterested, dehydrated brother. Before I could finish my set, and respond to the request of an encore, my dad plopped back into the car and turned around to scold me, all in one fluid motion. This would be the first of two times that my dad made an attempt at disciplining me. I was his (only) little girl so, rightfully and in a few ways, he didn’t want me growing up so fast. While sex appeal and self-awareness were not among the topics of conversation that my dad planned to discuss that day, he did his best to explain that we could talk about them more at a later date.

Tina Turner was the first Black woman that I saw and heard embrace her past, present, body and soul - all through music. She was a trailblazer in that sense and many others - setting the stage for me to “know” and love every other woman that did the same in her own way (including, but not limited to the Sex and the City cast). Together, though at different times of my life, these women and their stories have taught me to embrace every corner of myself. And as I approach my first day back at work (since going into labor at six months of carrying, observing an incredible medical team nurse my barely two-pound premie baby back to health, and spending the last almost three months with her at home), I am being reminded of all my corners. Especially as I say goodbye to the legend who taught me that these corners existed. As women, we often play so many roles in the lives of others that the roles become chapters of their own; often characterized by stories of joy and survival.

When Charlotte came across the book “Starting Over Yet Again, at the end of her first marriage, I felt that…over and over again. The first time that I watched the episode, I felt it for her. The second time, for me and then (on the third, fourth and fiftieth), for all of us. As people, we’re constantly being presented with the opportunity to start over even if it’s just starting anew on the same path. As women, this can be particularly difficult to navigate when we’re treated as if we have less time to discover ourselves and less agency of our bodies. So, when you add abuse or trauma to the mix, changing our mindsets, tapping into new parts of ourselves and/or refreshing our personas become means of survival. Whether it’s through embracing Judaism, converting to Buddhism, practicing kindness or following faith, overcoming sparks new beginnings and new beginnings spark a desire in us to learn.

A few weeks ago, the thought of going back to work brought on the worst anxiety. I’m returning to work after major changes to the company not to mention in my own personal life. But when I thought about what I’ve overcome, what I could learn, and allowed that to light my path, I grew excited. Returning to work after becoming a mother feels like THE renaissance of renaissances even though I know I have so many new beginnings to discover. To be here, I had to be there where I was scared, where I endured and eventually surrendered.

Few people know endurance and surrender like Tina Turner. Similarly, few people know re-emergence the way that she does. Turner once said, “Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go—purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything… whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.” This piece is my purge. The wonderful lunch I had with my family this week, the picnic I had with my girls last week…all of these mini-celebrations were the last little goodbyes to this chapter of “new mom”.

Friday will be my first day back at work, a first of many. And with a Charlotte York-Goldenblatt-level of optimism, I am welcoming this new chapter. In the words of Turner, “big wheels keep on turning” so each moment of discomfort is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves as we continue to move forward. And no matter how hard it gets, remember that she also said, “you’re simply the best” (me to me).

You’re Simply The Best: Starting Over Yet Again - 7 Min Read